π π©π° #24: A devastating memoir from Denmark
Naja Marie Aidt on the death of her adult son
Welcome to Bookmarked, a weekly newsletter following my journey as I read one book from every country. If youβre enjoying my project, Iβd love it if you shared Bookmarked with a friend.
Naja Marie Aidtβs memoir When Death Takes Something From You Give it Back is a clear-eyed and achingly tragic account of the first few years following the death of Aidtβs adult son. Defying genre convention by switching between poetry, prose, cultural criticism, and journaling, itβs a chaotic and restless 152-page book which I read in a single sitting, almost in a single breath. Itβs the most succinct and touching depiction of grief, mourning, and trauma Iβve ever read.
In March 2015, 25-year-old Carl experienced drug-induced psychosis after taking hallucinogenic mushrooms that he and a friend had grown in their Copenhagen flat. Suffering a bad trip, Carl jumped out of their fifth-storey window and onto the street below. Aidt, who was born in Greenland and raised in Denmark, hears the news that evening, when she is at dinner with her mother and Carlβs older brother, whose pregnant wife and three-year-old daughter are asleep upstairs. At first they donβt answer the phoneβafter all, who would call so late on a Saturday night?
The rest of the book follows Aidt and her family in the aftermath of Carlβs death: as they make their way to the hospital; gain access to police reports; and make impossible decisions about donating Carlβs organs.
β¦ the doctor calls Martin and me out into the hall again, Iβd like to ask you, he says, if maybe youβd consider also donating some of his skin? Maybe his knees? And I say: His knees? Will you cut off his knees? Will you flay the skin off him? And the doctor says: No, we wonβt cut off his knees, we wonβt flay his skin, and the doctor smiles, weβll just take the meniscus from the knees and a little skin to the burn unit. And Martin and I say: No, we will not donate his skin and knees, you may not take any more from his body. Okay, says the doctor, thatβs fineβ¦Β Β
Aidt employs all caps, unconventional line breaks, varying fonts, italics, and run-on sentences to mimic the experience of sudden loss; a tragedy so profound it obliterates language. She borrows lines from criticism, poetry, and proseβevoking the words of Joan Didion, Socrates, Emily Dickinson, and Jan Kochanowskiβto help her formulate meaning and make sense of what sheβs going through. Much of the book is written in the second person, addressed to Carl.
When Death Takes Something From You Give it Back is a raw and intensely moving book. It tore me apart. But though the process of grieving her son does not lead Aidt to a moment of epiphany, she does find her way back to writing. βOnce in a while I manage to write to my friends,β she says. βThey write to me. Their letters keep me aliveβ¦ just barely alive.β
When Death Takes Something from You Give It Back by Naja Marie Aidt, translated by Denise Newman (Quercus, 2019 / Gyldendal, 2017)
More books by Danish, Faroese, and Greenlandic authors
Hereβs a list of the other recommendations I got this week. Iβm a big fan of Dorthe Nors.
The Daughter by Sara Blædel, tr. Mark Kline
The Arc of the Swallow by Sissel-Jo Gazan, tr. Charlotte Barslund
This Should Be Written in the Present Tense by Helle Helle, tr. Martin Aitken
Companions by Christina Hesselholdt, tr. Paul Russell Garrett
A Change of Time by Ida Jessen, tr. Martin Aitken
One of Us Is Sleeping by Josefine Klougart, tr. Martin Aitken
Crimson by Niviaq Korneliussen, tr. Anna Halager
The Brahmadells by JΓ³anes Nielsen, tr. Kerri A. Pierce
Wild Swims by Dorthe Nors, tr. Misha Hoekstra
The Song of Hild by Vibeke Vasbo, tr. Gaye Kynoch
What have you read recently?
If youβve read a brilliant book in translation or want to pass on a recommendation, Iβd love to hear about it! For this project, Iβm focussing on contemporary fiction and short stories, with a preference for female authorsβbut I wonβt be too dogmatic about it so do share recommendations that donβt quite fit the bill, too.
You can get in touch by replying to this email or leaving a comment. Iβll be featuring your recommendations in upcoming newsletters, and Iβll keep a growing listΒ here.
Bookmarked is written by Tabatha Leggett. Thank you to Cecilie Gormsen for her recommendations for this weekβs issue. If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to them!